Music

Questionable Christmas Classics

by Melissa Bobbitt
Dec 10, 2012

Weezer Bruce Springsteen The Boy Least Likely To Christmas Music Rockwell Johnny Mercer

Ah, the holidays! The perfect time of year to be among friends and family, singing time-honored songs of yuletide and celebration. But before Gramps and Little Timmy join in the harmonies, take a second look at these memorable wintertime hits. Parental guidance suggested?

The obvious one: "Baby, It's Cold Outside." This feminist's alarms go off every time I hear this one. It's playful, to be certain, but with lines like, "Say, what's in this drink?" and the male host begging, "Don't hold out," it screams bad touch. Its sentiments might have been quaint in the late 1940s when it was written, but nowadays, it's asking for trouble.
A squatter's anthem, the chorus of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" is like the relatives that overstay their welcome. "Bring us a figgy pudding! We won't go till we get some!" they insist, invoking the gimmies. Definitely NOT the holiday spirit.
Maybe Rockwell was really scared of Santa when he performed the 1980s goofball hit "Somebody's Watching Me." Kids, SANTA IS EVERYWHERE. "He sees you when you're sleeping; he knows when you're awake..." Sounds less like a benevolent gift-giver and more like Freddy Krueger.

A bonus track to add to the creepy Christmas list: The Boy Least Likely To's Jingle My Bells. The title's self-explanatory.

More from Melissa Bobbitt (See All)

Music

Occur Goes Global - The Music of Iceland

Melissa Bobbitt 0

For a country of only about 330,000, there sure are a lot of talented musicians in Iceland. Bjork, Sigur Rós and Of Monsters and Men are among some of the most celebrated artists in the...

Jun 18, 2017

Grafir Asgeir Kaelan Mikla Vald Wegan Laser Life Iceland

Music

Bikini Kill's back catalog now available online

Melissa Bobbitt 0

Photo courtesy Maggie Vail As Kathleen Hanna and Kathi Wilcox prep their Julie Ruin record, the former Bikini Kill riot grrls have announced the launch of their own label to re-release BK nuggets and gems. ...

Jul 23, 2012

Bikini Kill Julie Ruin Le Tigre