Music

Questionable Christmas Classics

by Melissa Bobbitt
Dec 10, 2012

Weezer Bruce Springsteen The Boy Least Likely To Christmas Music Rockwell Johnny Mercer

Ah, the holidays! The perfect time of year to be among friends and family, singing time-honored songs of yuletide and celebration. But before Gramps and Little Timmy join in the harmonies, take a second look at these memorable wintertime hits. Parental guidance suggested?

The obvious one: "Baby, It's Cold Outside." This feminist's alarms go off every time I hear this one. It's playful, to be certain, but with lines like, "Say, what's in this drink?" and the male host begging, "Don't hold out," it screams bad touch. Its sentiments might have been quaint in the late 1940s when it was written, but nowadays, it's asking for trouble.
A squatter's anthem, the chorus of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" is like the relatives that overstay their welcome. "Bring us a figgy pudding! We won't go till we get some!" they insist, invoking the gimmies. Definitely NOT the holiday spirit.
Maybe Rockwell was really scared of Santa when he performed the 1980s goofball hit "Somebody's Watching Me." Kids, SANTA IS EVERYWHERE. "He sees you when you're sleeping; he knows when you're awake..." Sounds less like a benevolent gift-giver and more like Freddy Krueger.

A bonus track to add to the creepy Christmas list: The Boy Least Likely To's Jingle My Bells. The title's self-explanatory.

More from Melissa Bobbitt (See All)

Music

The Shape of Punk To Come in 2013

Melissa Bobbitt 0

Photo by Myriam Santos Alas, the title of this article does not hint that the Refused are extending their reunion tour in 2013 nor are recording a new classic. BUT all signs do point...

Jan 27, 2013

Warped Tour Bad Religion The Early November Reel Big Fish MC Lars Rancid Alkaline Trio Against Me Descendents

Occur Goes Global - The Music of Bangladesh

Melissa Bobbitt 0

Nestled in South Asia between India and Myanmar, this country has been showing its independence since 1971. Once a part of the Mughal Empire, then the British Empire, then India, then Pakistan, Bangladesh has used...

Sep 7, 2015