Music

Questionable Christmas Classics

by Melissa Bobbitt
Dec 10, 2012

Weezer Bruce Springsteen The Boy Least Likely To Christmas Music Rockwell Johnny Mercer

Ah, the holidays! The perfect time of year to be among friends and family, singing time-honored songs of yuletide and celebration. But before Gramps and Little Timmy join in the harmonies, take a second look at these memorable wintertime hits. Parental guidance suggested?

The obvious one: "Baby, It's Cold Outside." This feminist's alarms go off every time I hear this one. It's playful, to be certain, but with lines like, "Say, what's in this drink?" and the male host begging, "Don't hold out," it screams bad touch. Its sentiments might have been quaint in the late 1940s when it was written, but nowadays, it's asking for trouble.
A squatter's anthem, the chorus of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" is like the relatives that overstay their welcome. "Bring us a figgy pudding! We won't go till we get some!" they insist, invoking the gimmies. Definitely NOT the holiday spirit.
Maybe Rockwell was really scared of Santa when he performed the 1980s goofball hit "Somebody's Watching Me." Kids, SANTA IS EVERYWHERE. "He sees you when you're sleeping; he knows when you're awake..." Sounds less like a benevolent gift-giver and more like Freddy Krueger.

A bonus track to add to the creepy Christmas list: The Boy Least Likely To's Jingle My Bells. The title's self-explanatory.

More from Melissa Bobbitt (See All)

Music

Occur Goes Global - The Music of Belgium

Melissa Bobbitt 0

Equally French and Dutch in influence, Belgium has birthed jazz legends, an enviable techno scene and multilingual hyphenates. Here we explore five artists that don’t waffle in their passion for music. Tout Va Bien Jan Wouter Van...

Sep 28, 2015

Stromae Emma Bale Blaegger Django Reinhardt Tout Va Bien Belgium

Music Concerts

10 Dream Double-Header Tours

Melissa Bobbitt 0

Despite my penchant for all things '90s, I'd never seen Nine Inch Nails or Soundgarden in concert. Sure, I'd attended gigs by Trent Reznor's How To Destroy Angels and Chris Cornell's Audioslave, but neither...

Mar 27, 2014